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Thursday, January 17, 2019
State of mind - Chess has become an addiction

Sometimes it thrills othertimes it feels like hell. Chess has become an addiction to me. When I win I fear I might loose the next one but I still play another. When I loose I want to win the next one so again I play another. 

I know a break of a couple of days is refreshing and I often try. I try and then I think  I might play a game or two. But then, when I play I either win or loose and I end up playing more.

Sometimes I play hard to gain an adavntage only to squander it in the next move. Sometimes I realize that I have been poisoned and am slowlng going to reach my end. I am stabbed on other occassions.

Still I play because it's a new game each time. 

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